I love Troop Beverly Hills, it cracks me up, watching these girls get out of their respective vehicles. I’m putting myself in the era that my story takes place in, at least a section of it, to get some shots for this Bible I’m doing, but that’s not exactly Dr. J, in that, Dr. J, my mother, is not a Beverly Hills housewife. She’s a high-powered attorney maybe gangster, lol, in that, criminals made up a majority of her clientele. Dr. J’s also astonishingly pale, she has skin as white as snow, so she’s more fairytale-like, sort of ruthless though her personality is akin to confetti with eyes in the stars. A villain. No rage, the world is a wonder. I love you flying at you. Tea cup sets…my mother is super fascinating, a woman you don’t believe is real, who is actually dark. Dr. J.
In my synopsis, as I’m leaving my house as a four-year-old, the limo pulls up, and the darkened window reflects a bright day, and through it, we see a flashback of sorts of Dr. J shushing me at that age, sparkling in sequins and lush in a rich white mink. “Don’t tell anybody,” her hand, “how smart you really are…” No one. That’s exactly it. Against black leather, she’s a shimmering, stunning woman, a genius, that’s her interest. Her genius. I started interrogating her because she was so strange, her genius, I didn’t know what this was. She assured me “Mama didn’t tell anybody that she was a genius, no no no, shush.” Which is…so weird. As if her smarts, her genius, made her a target in some way? It was dangerous. She just walked up as valedictorian later…? I didn’t understand this conversation. Going into these years, however, it’s a weird good intro.
“And you, are smart like Mama,” and I’m saying “no.” Please, no. Not my interest.
I’m seeking to communicate atmosphere, it seems, with this bible, world.
In watching Troop Beverly Hills, I was looking for a way to capture her glamour, her theatricality, but Dr. J is another animal, so I don’t want to give the impression that she’s a Beverly Hills housewife, but if I find a still of her at a party, that’s atmospheric. So I’ll keep watching.
I watched Goddess of 67 which was a really interesting film. My friend thought, it structurally leaps back through time, so I thought about that except it’s not remotely what it is. A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints was a solid suggestion: he goes home, it’s well-crafted, there are fun stylistic elements such as breaking the fourth wall, with a theatrical intro to the neighborhood. He tells the audience what is going to happen before we go through it.
I had somewhat of a challenging time, which is why I’m watching movies, with me going “home…” as an adult. That became Everything Flows as in Nothing Stays the Same. Old habits die hard. Boom. My adopted brother who is in love with me and I — are ambushing Dr. J — I’m in a bustier. We’re hearing about her escort being a secret spy or at least involved with the government…on the way. Like, I ain’t interested in getting chummy with people who are spies or believe themselves to be, you see, whatever this is. So, that’s why my brother is here. The concept that one’s child might stop by their office to say hi, right? What’s so crazy about it? What are you hiding Dr. J? Seriously, what the hell did I do to this person? Yeah, just stopping by to talk to my mother, you know, normal shit. Might say some real shit, this time. And then, the fight escalates, what can I say, because my brother breaks down, declares himself to be my brother, etc. This scene. My brother cracks up when the escort threatens him, right? Sure, no change in temperature, “this isn’t the appropriate place,” with a hand, “to have this kind of exchange," but if you’d like to go outside…” my brother saw no problem, at all, with that. That was it. Very formal, as well, in his presentation. I’m laughing.
I look forward to hearing what this producer says so I can do a bible. I think both ideas can work. In anticipation of this phone call, I’m trying to watch some more movies to be able to have a conversation. He said going home is relatable, which is true, people hate going home, but then, it was so much easier to imagine a dramatic build around this family, like imagine if this was your family finding themselves in this situation…so as an audience, I’m a bit more gripped by that, by how this psychological drama unfolds. This producer called it a unique story, so would that be a selling point? A uniquely true story? I like lambada + family cover. Family is rated R. lol. With my picture. It’s humorous, too, so. An image of Dorothy standing in her slippers, a girl. I’ll watch the Lambada movie too, obviously for fun dance shots: lambada = heartbreak. I also like the idea of having something perfect such as the house and rainbows to then turn the page— lambada. Danger: me.
I’ll have to look around for images of the perfect house, so I’ll watch The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. Maybe I can figure out how to make images appear like it came out of a magazine, that sort of glossy, rich, color scheme. Even just grass at the bottom of the text pages. Not anything crazy, but to give a sense of the quality of the image. Child molestation could be written in a rainbow curve, stage lights. Showtime. Put a still of Ewan McGregor seeing his wife for the first time in Big Fish, sentimental, “time slows down,” meets lambada stills: skirts flying over soccer. Oh, Ladybugs, that film, girl sports, I’ll watch that. That aside, I need to find a still of a dark looming figure at a door for my father with some kid’s movie. I could juxtapose worlds, nothing too complicated. The enchanted vibe is good, I think. Bright is the new dark.
So there’s this sports family with amazing dance parties and a sexy, larger-than-life Brazilian mother who everyone loves, she’s the warmest person, the funniest, she’s so caring, you know, I mean, getting wrapped up in this shit, so you love her…and she’s going to take this child home…I’m just thinking out loud because, I think, the point is…you don’t know what you’re looking at, actually. Is Dr. J getting rid of her kid…because something is happening? Is he really a child molester? Or is she taking people on some “Joy Ride?” She’s trying to get rid of her kid, that’s clear, but her behavior is so bizarre, and my father’s behavior was so bizarre that you just — don’t know.
Maybe I should lean toward — it is what it is — rather than add that Joker edge that I can have, personally. I can be tongue-in-cheek about it since that’s what it was…I mean, us playing for this guy, putting on a show, I imagine one might laugh, or you might be like — whoa. Intrigue. He’s coming to the door, acting guilty? The audience is going to go — really? Watching me at four, five, dancing around for him…you can understand though— the SHADOW that might come out of this mother — this particular mother — who is on the phone with this guy “acting nice” with a her, a stranger, telling her about his vacation plans, that he thought he would invite his daughter, not — “hey, it’s time to pick up my kid now…” you know? So we all know, unsaid, what’s really happening here. “Safe,” hahahahahaha, which is what I mean about this line, “very safe.” She assured him.
Maybe I shouldn’t seek to add comedic layers but then, they are there, which makes it satisfying? Like who isn’t going to understand her kicking her sneaks, smiling, ohhhhh, acting so interested, how nice, how nice, playing like WHO? WHO? Maria?! Oh, hahahaha, of course she’s here, she’s right here, right in eyesight, she keeps a close eye on babies, she does, lol, so I don’t know who to communicate that comedic bent, since I’m going to make you laugh, that’s the point, because it’s funny, and then, she’s going to HANG up the phone. Curse. Portuguese. Yeah! We’re really going to get him!
It’s a psychological drama that tips over into the comedic, quite simply, but that just came out the easiest as a story. The intrigue is the story itself.
I had to center it around this family though, I felt, or that’s just what was easiest, like I said, because in the end, what really happened isn’t going to make anyone in the audience feel good. It’s not an ending, but I can skate that line in this rising action, she finally drops me off, but it’s not her kid! On the edge. It’s gone too far. And then, we go to family court, and we can do a scene there. That made the most sense to me. I have to do a bit of research to be able to think about that end, but at least, the love songs give the story an emotional layer…
I keep on figuring it out, thinking out loud.
But at least, this mother has a meaty role where she’s psychologically screwed up in a story that’s so far from her understanding of what’s possible, even taking in my mother’s blatant promiscuity — you see — that, that’s interesting as a psychological portrait…especially since, how many times did this lady even see my mother? This is what I mean, but she definitely saw her naked body. So…what you can’t see. What you can’t grasp. EVEN if it’s BLATANT, in your face. What you turn a blind eye to…so I’ll cushion some of that, but it’s just to express the outrageous nature of my mother — just outrageous in truth. But at first, what? She’s eccentric? Um, puzzling. But has a real job, money.
There are “otherworldly” realities inside this one that we share since that’s the vibe with my mother — can’t be real. But she’s there. She’s real. It’s really happening. But we have psychological blind spots. Expectations. We have a world, there’s a world, even if there are many, so if someone comes from outside the norm, even, you might not know what you’re looking at.
I was supposed to go to bed hours ago.
Night.