I watched Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s video last night about visualizing the future that you want, how to make that more effective, a technique I used to get me through a recovery period, even, and I am it using right now.
“Your mind shapes reality,” Benedict Cumberbatch said, and if you’re seeking mastery, to excel, well, Cumberbatch is one of the greatest actors of his generation. He did it. He can say that. I can’t. I can’t say that yet. I am reaching for that, personally, in my own way, which is getting easier, sensationally.
And that’s honest.
My cousin Vico in Christmas in Naples is a Sport says “panta rhei,” everything flows as in nothing stays the same, a famous saying by Heraclitus. You are never the same person as much as the river—never the same. Who you were — is not who you are —who you will become.
My hypnotherapist friend kept saying, one of my mentors, “you are not the victim of the past but the author of the future.”
The person who got you here, in other words, to this present moment, is not the person in that future you are seeking to create, so you want to establish a connection with that future self so it can guide you in this present moment to the next. There are many futures, in fact. And maybe a few of those futures might be appealing, you see, they may even inform one another.
I say that because it might not be the images themselves that we seek when we visualize, though we may have concrete goals, but rather the feelings that they contain. A house, sure, but how do you want that house to feel? Some people get the money, the house, and find…wait…I am not fulfilled. Fulfillment seems to be rather central — meaning — to this lived experience.
When I was nine, I had two experiences where my time perception changed. It was the year my father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s though it was really Alzheimer’s and he didn’t tell anyone…I found out about that at twenty years old…I got another family by then and it took another fourteen years to even reopen my childhood because of what happened.
My mother gave me away to a total stranger when I was four, she was keeping me for my own protection because my father was apparently a child molester — blah blah blah. I even launched an undercover investigation when I was nine to study how young narratives are perpetuated that do not have to be true — another point if you come from a past that requires reframing.
Even in thinking about change, in general, what do you want to be true? Sometimes, looking around, is this what we want to be true? In some cases?
But I add my story, I’m being honest about it, what it has meant for me to create what I want because I had a lot of past to sort out. Some people do. And I felt time change…let’s hold that thought.
Let’s say you’re driving a car. If you don’t know where you came from, why you’re driving this way, you might not even really get it. I made a turn, started to change when I started understanding that. That came with miracles and pain, too, in that, I was repressed for a long time. But the beauty is, Hardy’s point, you’re not bound to any past.
To bring in Anthony Hopkins — he said, with certainty, you can condense time. Bring it into the present moment. Jennifer Aniston suggested talking to what you’re seeking to manifest as if it’s already happened. Thank you for that job opportunity. Thank you for that book deal. Thank you. You’re generating the future from back here. And I saw that. I can state my wants. Hardy even said — be honest with yourself. I appreciated that.
The second change in my time perception was more acute than the first. And what can I say about that? My cousins in Neapolitan believed that without question but my mother giving me away, my father being sick, “no,” they didn’t. What we believe in, even, baffled me since the age of four. My father was in a state at the time. It lifted like a spell, even, at the end. Time went back to normal. Time is a material, even, that we can manipulate, shape, it seems.
Time is real though, you know, though it doesn’t “really” exist. It keeps us focused here. Time has a function, too, literally speaking. My experience of space changed. Disorienting.
One section of it — I saw “probable futures.” I never thought about time before, at nine. But “probable futures” were ablaze, generating reality as energy, ideas first. What a revelation at nine. But I ended up seeing one future both times. I decided where I was going to college and to live one day because of these experiences so I had to come to understand that. I could have used “don’t forget…many probable futures…” you saw that. And I did.
In other words, which one do you want?
Had to settle that. Be honest with myself. What do you want?
Funny, no? That was part of my real journey, you understand, these time-bending experiences. My father’s denied dementia had a real effect on me. Apparently, I am psychic, but who isn’t? I do not care. Hardy even said — the future is already there. I just needed to talk to a neurologist. But I saw all that: what I’ve been hearing about time.
You have to, it seemed from my experience, understand what’s propelling you…also to understand if that’s going to work out. Repressed rage, for example, since I got in touch with my experiences — not good for your health. I got a lot out of the way. We’re understanding more and more the role that the emotional body plays in illness, in general, so that’s a side point.
I had to go through my childhood, sure, finally, when I decided to write a book about it. It took me on a healing adventure which my future book The Oldest Storyteller is about with the possibilities if not probabilities ablaze. What’s a life? The Oldest Storyteller is “Death,” the ultimate guide, on the brink of dawn. He, she, they — no gender — has been a part of every story ever told. He just can’t change that he exists. But from here to there…every story ever told.
I reached for an older woman, even, someone that I really wanted to become, so “it is the future that writes the past…” maybe one you’d like to get to, become. Can’t speak to my time-bending experiences, how I was operating at nine, but it remains true, too.
Here's another one: “probable future events can affect the real past.”
There’s me at nine with all these probable futures…my father is still in a state…some were more probable than others, I got that. Perhaps, you see, there’s a probable future that’s already generating enough reality, desire even and maybe not just yours, so maybe something will come in seemingly out of nowhere and take you in a direction you never even thought you’d ever take. People have all sorts of journeys. “I never thought…” but.
I saw that.
For me, it was The Oldest Storyteller. I saw that story as a star in the distance. I wasn’t there yet but I felt the impact of it. So, I decided to do it, reopen the past, go through it, in fact, which came with pain, too, but much more than that — what I loved, too. I am here now, integrated. I’m starting on the right foot, in fact, a more solid foundation even if it wasn’t, you understand. “Both my parents were sick.” Not ohhh I was sort of adopted…no. Why? Well, that took a journey to get to.
My parents were sick.
Now, I have a psychological fiction about an adventure back to childhood with that time-bending experience of probable futures in considering what is possible from here. And that story continues to be a kind of guide for me; I want to get there, the storyteller is even a “wise man.” We all have access to wisdom. For me, for a period of time, I thought, how do I want to feel looking back for one last flash? So, “your whole life flashes before your eyes,” and the question is: what does that mean?
Meaning became rather central in thinking about the future I’d like to create…from here. Since meaning is so deep, it’s true. Again, with visualization, it’s the feeling the images contain that might be what we’re really seeking.
I’m working on my first book, Christmas in Naples is a Sport. It’s actually working. I’m seeing it become clearer and clearer but more so than anything I’m feeling it. That future book in my hand, there are so many versions of it, so how do I want this to feel…?
I am reaching for a future with many people in it, and I asked this future with many people — bring out the best in me. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be controversial either, whatever, but draw out — as an artist — what I can contribute, what you’d like to read, the best I got to give. It’s not just me. I’m trying to connect with the people in that future. That’s been a rather magical experience. There’s a world with extraordinary people in it.
So, the house I’m seeing? Who is in it? The image is sort of changing…
That’s the Oldest Storyteller, the idea behind it — what’s the heartbeat. It’s the heart that beats “I am I am” in a state of becoming. At least, to me, that’s what we’re doing when we’re imagining a future self. I understand the “don’t create a story around it” so that’s why I just stay in my heart. But the idea that you connect to a future self and then let that guide you…I mean, we’re writing stories all the time.
A reflection from down South: presence is being in a state of compassion. Presence is heartfelt. The heart is there as a guide even. This isn’t even an emotional thing. It’s the feeling you want, even if that means “a book” or “a big house” because there are many versions of that. For me, personally, accessing that heart…the heart of the journey…sure, storyless even has gotten me to this state rather quickly. Reaching for the people even in that future…who seek to embrace me. Who want that future self to arrive and of course, we’ll keep going.
Hopefully, that means the people who will read this book, my books, will read these words, etc. So draw it out of me, too. I say that because I went on a healing journey and contribution as a word…seemed to be central to that. So, what do I have to give? Bring out the best in me, Babette’s Feast: there is one cry that comes from the heart of every artist, give me the chance to do my best. I want to get in touch with my gifts…maybe come to discover what I have to give…
I want to feel gifted, in fact. And we all are. Let me get in touch with my gifts, bring that out of me.
I feel that in my book — the actual content of it getting better, more creative, I can start to see that jacket, the feeling generating the reality of it. And it makes me feel so blissful. I want you to love it. I’m bringing that feeling from the future into the present so I can enjoy it right here.
My exercise of late, even in writing about it like this, is to generate clear imagery. I have to shape it a bit. That’s how I’m doing it. Reaching not just for me but for others…to even make it stronger…the desire to manifest it. Plus what I have to give puts me in touch with my own generosity. Someone down south said talent can be isolating until it’s put into the service of others…
I appreciated watching Hardy’s video yesterday to remind myself — ah, I got here. Where I seek to go requires another reach which I’m making so now I can generate clear imagery and listen…listen for that inner guidance that’s going to get me there.
So, the Oldest Storyteller is for people who like Hardy, even, since I’ve learning A LOT from the twists and turns it took to get here so I might want to think “audience” or how to present this book a little earlier in the process.
The “you create your own reality” is such a popular question even…how we work with time. How we manifest what we want. So this psychological fiction reflects that with “Death” the oldest storyteller showing me the kid a way out through the heart since I had all that past…which is so true. It’s a real unknown.
Now, do I know exactly what that book will be yet — no. I’m still shaping it. I’m on my first book but you see — it’s done, it’s already published, and I’ve already moved on.
Activate that heart, the feeling, not just the image. I assure you, this isn’t that fulfilling, it seems. How do you want to feel? Does it “feel” like that? Image is one thing. No, doesn’t seem aligned with that feeling…well, there you go. Images can be deceiving even. You might find someone, something you didn’t expect who makes you feel how you want to feel. But again, be honest. A really really solid piece of advice. About what it is that you want.
Happy weekend.
You generate the belief. You generate the reality.
The oldest storyteller…and it’s no SACRIFICE…