She cried real tears!! The Brazilian mother said. So did Shelley Long…on the day when she had to.

I’m just joking around, but where did that girl get that Penthouse? Funny.

I finished watching Troop Beverly Hills, and I’m not going to make this a puzzle for someone to understand, but just for fun this is what I took, I took other shots too…she’s just not cupcake, Dr. J, that’s not who she is. I don’t remember her night attire, but I do believe she could wear cocktail dresses and maybe ballgowns to church though I have one picture of her where we wore a matching dresses…this…time I was sent home with my parents, actually, which I don’t understand, but we were both in white lace dresses with pink sashes. I had a white mink too, but she threw up on it, tore it off my back, actually, so she could. That’s Dr. J. So she could dress up girlie? I think that was…a rare occurrence? Once we went to Sea World too? We never did these things before. You see? I wish I could find this photo of me flipping off the camera, since I did. Maybe one day, I’ll find it again. Well, learned it from the Brazilian mother, that’s for sure, lol. Never used it except at this.

Looking through these photos, remembering…these times…why was I sent home with them? Looney.

That aside, since that took me some years to put together, thank you very much, I had some fun putting together these stills, maybe one, not sure, I gotta watch The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. I’m going to go on a magazine hunt to see if I can cut out some green grass to add as a detail on the text pages with ruby slippers. I’ll just scan it. Just cause I can’t produce that effect in photoshop. We’ll see.

I found some Rainbow movies, so I’ll see if I can find the perfect backyard in LA or stills of rainbows from movies. Some distortion, some film that uses distortion. I gotta figure this one out. I can see it so clearly in my mind… I want to capture the dark side of light, that’s somewhat important, like in the kitchen I see lots of windows with a particular play on shadow though I don’t know how that translates exactly but a different tone that the world of the backyard contrasts. Then, gotta watch SOME movie with a family party, though the lambada movie might be enough, which might be next…with a menorah photoshopped in? Maybe just an icon in the corner. This one from Troop Beverly Hills I thought could evoke fairytale, in a sense, in some way, except she’s gotta be business though she has range.

Funny enough though, for Everything Flows, I found examples of the shots I was sort of seeing for that one in Troop Beverly Hills. Shot from below, not all of it, but some shots. The one shot I think is particularly cool is — my sister and I drive past her old house, which we come to understand is down the street, practically, from mine, our adopted mother being in the middle, and out the window, we see her in high school, she looks the same, running out her front door, and the camera turns around like my head as if we’re following her feet to land on my face clocking through our mother’s car window in high school. “Ice,” I recognized the temperature. It’s a bit of a “whoa",” just the face I saw in the window with the sky lightly reflected.

I don’t know where to go — to find that kind of movement, but then, Wes Anderson does all sorts of cool, that word, zooming in, moving the camera, so maybe I’ll watch more of his movies. I’ll keep watching. I just looked up Ron Howard and Spielberg, so I’ll watch Parents and Always, I’ll poke around in there. Since Parents is 1989 horror/comedy, and Always, for fun. Watching people’s early films.

I am neither one of these girls (below), and I don’t have to do this, but I thought, oh, um, I sort of became the girl on the right reading Psychology Today? I have to keep watching for world shots… The Royal Tenenbaums feels like its own period in a way though, a super well-done. They are an old family, in a sense, with wealth…but it’s also kinda timeless?

For the most part, the Brazilian mother is in a tennis outfit. Or, jeans and kitten heels and a tight top so American Apparel today? The rest of them are more or less in sports gear with the youngest as Dorothy. Dr. J is white mink and business suits, but she can fly around…it’s not that she doesn’t have range, but she’s the Krizia version of Anjelica Huston since she’s mostly in a suit.

I’m just talking about character though. But that bible is perfect, right? That’s why he gave it to me…? With shots from Stand by Me, so I’ll find some sports movie, and I’ll find some still of kids playing dress-up, basically. I cannot believe how fast this day flew.

I’m going to redo my website so I put work to read forward — the Ukrainian Refugee, for one, the Russian thief, though I have to work on that one, Barbara Harris, so you can just go in. Even my scene with HADES is super cool, I think, maybe a scene from The Oldest Storyteller…

Do I have to conceive of some kind of social media, maybe, for xmas in Naples? Just finish the goddamn book, right? I’m going to try and pitch an article to the NYtimes about Naples and just keep going on that end. Someone told me to get on social media, but like, what am I supposed to say? Travel, who gives a shit? How does that help me? Anyway, that will continue to clarify itself, I keep saying, whatever helps me, you know? But I ended up feeling — what am I doing? So now, I’m in the driver’s seat, and I can steer from here.

I had a series of dreams last night about a plan, maybe, about going back to NYC, just going, stupid, like get an apartment that you can sublet? Skip Christmas this year? Three years ago? Live, learn, whatever.

Hopefully, Vishen will love lol the palace in Fes, the hotel/erotic piece that takes place there, it’s all going to turn to gold, that’s okay, and I hope the money comes back. And Vishen, there is a reality, please, in which I go back to NYC in a better place than ever, so sure, I will see it. I will envision it.

I’ll start sharing Xmas in Naples when I can, I’ve started to, but I’m still figuring out the book…and that’s fine. I just want to finish this shit, truly. I’m trying to get my writing fixed and up and work on that, trying to target certain publications: that makes sense to me, so I haven’t figured this part out yet. I’m not really that interested in being that kind of writer, so — I’ll hopefully I’ll get to the next step with this movie idea, so I can possibly get an agent and maybe a job at a production house?

Anyway, I’m off…

Nothing but glorious things to come, Vishen, in my mind, assures me.